“May the 24^th Not Kill You”

Over share. Your meaningless details are a trained professionals’ clues – and your salvation.

Mr. Ben Honey Log

Earth date: Wednesday, May 17, 2023; AM

Along with my normal meds we took a ‘Water pill’ to help with the swelling in my feet and hands. This makes me feel terrible for the next day or two so we don’t take them often, and explains the lackadaisical attitude of the next couple days.

Earth date: Friday, May 19, 2023; Afternoon

Not feeling well from the last couple days, is not any better. Work was a slog. Decided I was done and went to take a nap.

Earth date: Saturday, May 20, 2023

We have work to do at the Independence House (a property we are getting ready for Ms. Heather and her friends), but can’t be bothered. Exceedingly tired. Now getting concerned that I may actually be sick with something. Everything hurts like the flu, and indigestion. All day nap.

Earth Date: Sunday, May 21, 2023

Not much better. Can’t do nothing (double negative intended) so gathered up stuff from the shop to take to the Independence House. While in the shop felt worse and pooped my pants. Cleaned up from the shower inducing ‘unscheduled purge’. And went to bed. Found out later that this is a symptom as there is a nerve that controls such things, and it goes right by the heart. If I knew that this could be a sign, we could have addressed this a day earlier (well maybe). Let this be a warning to ‘over share’ with your doctors. They know way more than they let on. Let them decide what is important and what isn’t. Don’t hold back ‘embarrassing’ or ‘unrelated’ details. Let them know that you are over sharing and give them permission to ignore what is not relevant, then OVER SHARE.

Now I should note that I am fat, old, and fat. Have arthritis (psoriatic and rheumatoid). So not feeling well is ‘normal’. But even this seems a bit much, and there is nothing that suggests that I am really sick, as in flu sick. Ms. Marcye and I have discussed that if it does not get better that we will ‘go somewhere’ to have it looked at. This conversation has been happening since Friday. That over share thing is good with your partner as well. Not every conversation need to have an action, so feel free to ‘just mention’ the oddness of everyday life.

Earth Date: Monday, May 22, 2023; Afternoon

Still very much not feeling well. Much more tired than normal so take a ‘quick afternoon nap’. Woke up clinching my chest. Did not hurt much but did wake me up. We figured ‘this is a sign that should not be ignored.’ To off to the Urgent care.

Urgent care is ‘more urgent than your doctor’ but not quite ‘an emergency’.

Urgent Care Trip

MedWise, just down the street some 2 miles away.

Checked in, described the situation, and the attending ‘freaked out’ in that he said. “I am calling for an ambulance to take you to “Saint Francis Central”.

Now Ms. Marcye has history there, and not so respectfully declined. And declined the ambulance ride, so off to Saint Francis South we went, closer less impacted by rush hour traffic. The attending called ahead, so they were expecting us.

This conversation should have gone much better. The attending skipped the ‘here is what is wrong and why we know it’ speech, did not say ‘Heart attack’ as indicated my most of the classic symptoms, but went directly to ‘ambulance’ and ‘Saint Frances Main’.

Mr. Marcye heard Saint Francis Main and quit listening anyway.

Attending did not stand his ground but did call ahead, and warned Ms. Marcy that ‘if Mr. Ben has an issue you need to stop immediately, pull him out of the car, and perform CPR until an ambulance arrives’. This should have been a HUGE warning flag but was dismissed without a thought. Warning acknowledged, off to Saint Francis South we go.

This is a critical conversation that should have gone MUCH differently. The attending said “ambulance” and “Saint Francis Central” which seemed like a complete over reaction, un-necessary expense, and absolute waste of time and effort. Ms. Marcye has history with “Saint Francis Central” so quit listening. At some point one or both should have stopped and ‘there is a disagreement here, so someone does not know what the other one knows’. I normally take on that role, but I was … well ‘not myself’. I realize now that could have killed me.

Saint Francis South Trip

We arrive and have a short wait due to the call ahead. Get vitals, and blood work taken. Very quickly the result showed high Troponin I which is “Immunochemical evidence of significant recent myocardial injury is present.”

https://medlineplus.gov/lab-tests/troponin-test/

Troponin Test

What is a troponin test?

A troponin test measures the level of troponin in your blood. Troponin is a type of protein found in the muscles of your heart. Troponin isn't normally found in the blood. When heart muscles become damaged, troponin is sent into the bloodstream. As heart damage increases, greater amounts of troponin are released in the blood.

High levels of troponin in the blood may mean you are having or recently had a heart attack. A heart attack happens when blood flow to the heart gets blocked. This blockage can be deadly. But quick diagnosis and treatment can save your life.

So with that little punch in the face, we are assigned an ambulance for a ride to Heart Hospital at Saint Francis. Yes, that is where we were suggested to go to start with, but now the communication is more functional, using words like “heart attack” and “Heart Hospital at Saint Francis” which is apparently exactly like ‘Saint Francis Main Hospital’ but completely different, for an ‘emergency heart procedure’ likely ‘to save his life’, based on ‘these tests and symptoms’. O NOW we are listening, and on our way, with lights and sirens.

The Ambulance Game

There is a game that can be played when taking an ambulance ride.

When you are hauled off without lights or sirens, then you are basically in a Ride Share but with adult supervision. All will be fine until you get the bill for the very well qualified babysitters and very well stocked ride.

When you are hauled off with lights only, then it is a good thing that you have well qualified babysitters. While they don’t expect badness to happen, when it does, you will be thankful for the skilled escort.

When you are hauled off with lights AND sirens. Basically, you are in a bad way, screwed even. Not only do they expect to intervene to mitigate damage, but they also probably already have. If you don’t remember the ride, know that they probably saved your life in some non-trivial way. True Heroes there. If you DO remember the ride they may have over reacted a bit. Just know in their witty banter they were checking on your condition and had a million dollars of training and equipment ready to save you from … well, death.

My particular ride, with lights and sirens, ended without drama, except for waiting to get the door to the hospital open. As my destination was not the emergency room but a real room, the normal greeting party was not expecting us. We teased the baby sitters of the mixed message of lights and sirens vs. waiting in the parking lot for someone with a key. We laughed. I appreciated the well qualified company. We should all hug a fireman.

Heart Hospital Saint Francis

Finally at the location the original attending physician recommended, we marveled at the surprisingly comfortable private room, and it occurred to me that I must have good insurance or a winning personality. So, while I would like to think that I am good company, we have to defer credit to Aetna.

With some time to reflect on how we got here, we KNOW that we are in a bad way when they hang an IV that comes with warning stickers and requires TWO senior staff to administer. Heparin, a blood thinner, is apparently no joke and any thought that ‘this is no big deal’ has now disappeared. Apparently, I am potentially ACTUALLY screwed.

It took a very long time to reach this conclusion. I am less clear if this is due to (our) ‘wishful thinking’, willful discounting of the situation, minimization of the professionals being ‘calm under pressure’, or what?? But now that we are here, with the realization that badness is a likely outcome, we are surrounded by competent professionals that seem ready for anything and that ‘to them’ this is ‘no big deal’. Funny how they freaked out at your no big deal, and now you are freaked out by their no big deal. While we are at it, we should hug a Nurse, Technician, Doctor, and well everyone else that make the circus of the hospital work.

Updates to the Friends and Family

Starting with a conversation with Ms. Heather. Included others as useful updates became available.

Monday	From Ms. Heather:	From Mr. Ben
	Are you going to the Independence House?
		Probably not
	You should have lead with “I’m in the ER”
		There is a limit to what you can usefully worry about. This is not one of them.
	How are you doing?
		Not dead. Not yet at least.

During this text conversation Ms. Marcye called ‘the kids’ to let them know what is happening. Still too early to panic anyone, and as far as we know they are going to send me home with ‘heart burn’ and a Power Rangers Band-Aid where they took blood.

By this time we have done our hospital skip and dance. We have seen a few Doctors, several Nurses, a few technicians, and a specialist or two. We have been processed into our ‘private room’, ‘made comfortable’ as can be expected, and are now left to the mercy of the processes. All of this and more are the many gifts of living in Capitalist America.

Monday May 22, 2023 21:20 CT sent to ‘everyone’

Stint procedure scheduled for tomorrow. Not general anesthesia but still normal procedure risks.

So, risk of death, or worse, is low but not zero. And less risk overall than the ‘do nothing’ option.

Updates as they happen.

Don't worry. Be happy.

Mr. Michael came to visit and brought a quilt that he made. It looks like love. And I look like I am faking.

Monday May 22, 2023 23:28 CT sent to ‘everyone’

Phone off

10% bat

They are done sticking me and stuff

No time plan for tomorrow so we will just be ready.

Mr. Ben Honey hugs and finger kisses.

Looking a little worse for wear and trying to get a hug. I failed. Nothing to do but hurry up and wait.

With ‘everyone’ up to date it is time to rest and wait for our ‘procedure’. Apparently if there is no scalpel it is a procedure. Noon was mentioned but came and went without any update. Now 4PM has been mentioned, and we are in a hurry up and wait mode.

At about 4:30 some activity suggested that we are ‘next’! Here is hoping.

Tuesday May 23, 2023 19:14 CT sent to ‘everyone’

Out of surgery, all is fine. No complications.

Stuff hurts. Baby (Ben) cried. Maybe home tomorrow.

Not my best look. But not dead. The stupid hospital johnny has failed miserably and is mixed up in the sheets.

Wednesday May 24, 2023 04:41 sent to ‘everyone’

Two stints. 87 IV bags of piss. Two are hanging in mocking glee right now, and 47 sets of heart rhythm monitor sticky pads they are WAY too happy to replace.

Right now, I just peed into a jug hanging from the side of the bed. I started out with impressive yellow but have slipped to indistinguishable from apple juice. Kinda sad really.

Monitor says..

92 beats a minute

97% O2

24 respirations a minute.

So NOT (yet) dead.

I got a few hours sleep. Ate some pineapple slivers, the most sad yet wonderful 'turkey' sandwich.* There is an apple juice (or so it says) cup tempting me, and a mini Shasta Twist that has turned me into a trumpet. (gas, and belching)

No one has mentioned a go home date, but I have been on my best behavior, under the circumstances, so hope for early release.

I was awake but not aware during the procedure, everyone seemed to be good team players except for the twisting my arm like a turkey wing. No stars. Do not recommend.

Nap time. I have a big day tomorrow.. They will actually let me wear underwear. It is going to be a banner day!

And no more grippy socks.

*We should point out that the turkey sandwich was most wonderful after our unplanned 3-day famine. It is amazing how good something is when one has been deprived for even a short time.

Wednesday May 24, 2023 08:19 sent to ‘everyone’

Ms. Dakota and Ms. Nicole have freed me IV tree of pee, acquired suitable garments, which unfortunately includes grippy socks, assisted in acquiring substances in the form of a breakfast casserole, which was as delicious as it was unattractive, which is to say super yummy. *

So now I am off to exercise my newfound freedom, and annoy everyone enough to get thrown off this island.

Wish me luck and know you are lucky not to have to endure my 'company’ today.

All Hail Ms. Dakota and Ms. Nicole.

*Again we are amazed by how good this was. To say it was unattractive is a significant understatement! But OOOO Sooo good.

Wednesday May 24, 2023 19:08 sent to ‘everyone’

Wooo hooo!

I have been sent home. Just had a grill cheese sandwich, lovingly made. Now off to bed without wires, hoses, tubes, beeps, bops, and assorted 'not at home' influences.

I have not ever been more happy to have a puppy crawl up on my face and fart. I am sure we will get over that quickly.

Thursday May 25, 2023 09:55 sent to ‘everyone’

Last 'everyone' update....

Mr. Ben Honey is NOT dead!. The reading of the will is postponed indefinitely, or at least until further notice.

Good night sleep despite, or even because of the random dog flatulence.

Spent half an hour figuring out the medication list / schedule. Thank the Capitalists for providing the miracle of Modern American Medical ... Life.

My back hurts a bit, although it is probably kidneys are crying about filtering the rest of the contrast die out of my system. Drinking water in uncomfortable amounts.

Attempting to be productive at my work from home job. Another Capitalists gift.

Thank you for your well wishes. And remember, today is a good day, to have a good day.

Mr. Ben Honey hugs and finger kisses to you.

Now with everyone informed and the crisis over, everyone can carry on knowing that Mr. Ben Honey is good (enough) and ‘life goes on’. We appreciate the well wishes, encouragement, and general concern.

Summary

If you are going to have a heart attack, do it in a Capitalist country.

Listen to the doctors.. they don’t just want your money, they wish to help as well.

Over share, your meaningless details are a trained professionals’ clues – and your salvation.

If you take Aleve for arthritis and it works for you… don’t have a heart attack.

The section below is what happened ‘after’. While not nearly as ‘exciting’, it is at least as entertaining. We will update occasionally.

Heart Rehab

WTF is THAT??

Well apparently, it starts with an extensive set of interviews. Which are then ‘graded’. So like speed dating, there is the inquisition, a little banter while the scores are tallied, and then the verdict that I am ‘not that interesting’. What!?

In my disappointment at my newfound ‘not that interesting’ label (she tried to convince me not being interesting is a good thing in this case), I got hooked to a heart monitor (more freaken sticky tabs!) and made to power walk back and forth down the hallway for 6 minutes. I made 4 laps I think but was over my time limit. Scolded and told to sit in a chair, she took my blood pressure. It too was ‘not that interesting’.

Now I ‘get’ to do this twice a week, choosing from a half dozen types of exercise equipment, or more laps down the hall, until I run out of insurance money, quit, or become interesting. And there are classes to attend. If I ‘attend’ all of them, I get a t-shirt that suggests that I am ‘slightly more interesting’ or at least more informed.

Now I am not one to exercise but I am quite ‘busy’. A couple of weeks after my procedure I am cutting holes in a house to run electrical cable, fixing outlets, troubleshooting three way lights, hunting down an intermittent short (THAT is no fun), and toning out electrical cables that were run haphazardly over the 60 years of the life of the house (also no fun).

Every night I am way more exhausted than I expect. But I did just have a heart attack, so what do I know. This could be completely expected. Except not. We are missing our wounder drug.

Days After Aleve

Apparently, Aleve interferes with my new medications. So, I should not take it. Fine I say, we are on an expensive drug for arthritis anyway, how much could an over-the-counter thing like Aleve be doing anyway.

Ha! As my hands started to hurt, we took an Aleve or two and we were fine. Then in follow up appts the medications conversation warns that Aleve (and other NSAID’s) conflicts with heart meds and if taken together could cook my kidneys, or gizzard, or something.

So, no more Aleve. Starting on June 10^th hands and feet were becoming un happy. Then very unhappy, then angry, and by the 15^th verry, verry, mad! Started off in bed. Can not roll over without significant effort (think full on flu). Then no ability to pull up the covers, no hand strength to grasp, no shoulder strength to pull, and way more ‘owie-owie-owie’ than is helpful. Much sadness. But Ms. Marcye tucked me in, sorta.

Later that morning:

Pulling on pajama pants – difficult.

Socks – no chance.

Change shirt – not even close.

Waddling to the bathroom – unpleasant (Dred a number 2, as things are O so far away).

Repeat pajama pants – note to self: stand up like a real man.

Wash hands – warm water felt good, but nothing else did.

Open bedroom door – 4 attempts.

Glass of water – two hands and much effort and concentration.

Box of Cheerios (good for your heart) from the up cabinet – Nope and the low fat milk jug is almost full, so double nope.

Cherry tomatoes for breakfast, thumb and first fingers can touch (none of the others) and the weight is manageable.

Took a fist full of AM meds, except the aspirin which is in an impossible to open container.

Prayers for relief – unanswered.

Thanks to Aetna insurance, St Francis Health Systems, and the Cardiac Hospital, I get a call averaging two a week, to see how I am doing. Fortunately, today is one of those days. We cried to her. While she was consoling, and sympathetic, there was nothing she could do in the moment. But she is consulting with her Pharmacist. We are hoping for good news.

After a few hours, gizzard be damned, we took some Aleve, which helped quite a lot, thank you very much. But this goes to show you that despite the promise of future doom, relief in the moment becomes a rational thought, and action. Even more evidence that rational, fact based decision making, can be displaced at the slightest hint of discomfort. If you think you are immune, you will be one of the first to fold like a Titanic deck chair. I lasted 8 days.

Suggestions of Tylenol Arthritis and Voltaren cream, were gladly taken and applied liberally. Now I am back to being ‘human’ or at least not crying lump of man-baby, hiding under the blankets unable to move.